The Thing that Couldn’t Be Fixed

Compared to sci-fi movies made today, the old black and white sci-fi movies from the 1950s seem quite comical with their technical errors and amateurish props.

In a scene from “The Attack of the 50 Foot Woman”, the main character “Nancy”, now greatly enlarged from some extraterrestrial entity, is strolling toward the bar where her husband “Harry” is cavorting with another woman.

In a rage, she tears the bar apart with her bare hands, kills the other woman, and then lifts Harry through the roof where he gets his just rewards. The movie never does explain how her scanty clothing grew to fit her but the1950s censorship was probably a factor. Those 50s movies may have lacked quality special effects, but with titles like “The Beast with a Million Eyes”, or “The Brain from Planet Arous”, today’s movie titles seem lame. If I were a 1950s B&W horror movie producer, the plot of my movie would be based on a problem my family had when we recently moved into a house with a neglected central HVAC unit. It made creepy sounds day and night and broke down at least once a month. Time after time I called the HVAC repair team to fix it but to no avail. The furnace would belch soot and we even had to evacuate a few times with gas leaks and small electrical fires. Meanwhile, my wife was getting upset at my unwillingness to replace it. Had she been 50 feet tall, I might have met the same fate as Harry. The title of my movie will be “The Thing that Couldn’t Be Fixed” but It will have a happy ending when the old HVAC unit is hauled off to the junkyard.

 

Heater technician

License to use HVAC

The moment I turned 16, I started pestering my parents to let me get my driver’s license. The first step was to get my learner’s permit after passing the written test. Then, I attended a driver’s education class offered by my high school. The worst part was when my parents were in the car. Our car had a “three across” front seat and one time, my mom began to feel uncomfortable sitting in the window seat with me at the wheel. She moved into the center seat to get a better view of the road from the driver’s perspective. Of course, this happened just as my friends passed by. The next day at school they teased me about who my new girlfriend was as they laughed. I did get my license just before I turned 17 but it took about 10 more years before Mom admitted I was a good driver. Today I think that people who own HVAC units should be required to get an HVAC license to make sure people know about proper maintenance, how to change a filter, what to do in case of a gas leak, and how a basic thermostat works. My HVAC school would offer certificates at four levels. The gold certificate would prepare the student for a career in HVAC, the silver one would be for those who can master a smart thermostat system. The bronze award would cover the most basic knowledge. All three would have the contact information of the local qualified HVAC servicer and contractor. I also will offer a “tin” certificate that is nothing more with a paper that has the phone numbers and a statement in large red block letters that read, “DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE HVAC REPAIRS YOURSELF”.

a/c service

Arranged Marriages and HVAC

The marriage of a furnace and AC unit is truly a “till death do we part” union and if one dies suddenly a newer and younger partner will soon be installed leaving little time to grieve

Arranged marriages, where the choice of one’s mate is made by others, usually parents, has existed for a long time. It helped to preserve royal lineages, sometimes quite strangely as when siblings or cousins were the only choices for the arranger. For me, I think it is a great idea. Left to my own, I would have pursued Ginger, an employee of the local strip joint so I need cooler heads to prevail in such matters. Everyone knows that a successful marriage is not based on a passionate romance. Two people learn to get along over the years and begin to settle into routines that are satisfactory to both even if they are completely different with little in common. In a strange way, marriages are a lot like the coupling between a furnace and an AC unit to make complete the HVAC pair. The furnace and AC unit do not meet each other until the day they are sold as a unit to be installed. They “sleep” separately, the furnace is usually inside and the coils and compressor outside. They do share common ductwork and electrical systems to provide some needed HVAC intimacy. Like some modern marriages, they have completely different work schedules and have sacrificed having offspring to dedicate themselves to their work. They rarely argue because when one is on vacation the other one is busy keeping the house comfortable all year around. The marriage of a furnace and AC unit is truly a “till death do we part” union and if one dies suddenly a newer and younger partner will soon be installed leaving little time to grieve. I hear Ginger is on her third marriage. I am still single, but my HVAC couple is still going strong after 10 years.

furnace/heater service

Captain HVAC

I think it is time for a new superhero.

Superman is now in his 80s and Wonder Woman is not far behind him.

I am more impressed by how they still have black hair (or blue hair in the comic books) without any grey and they still appear to be in their late 20s. By now everyone knows that Clark Kent is Superman. The Daily Planet probably became an online publication. Jimmy Olsen was fired on sexual harassment charges filed by Lois Lane, who took over when Perry White retired as chief editor. Lane and Kent are both retired, so his not-so secret identity is useless. There is no longer a need to leap over tall buildings and run faster than a locomotive. Drones work fine at high altitudes and old locomotives are best displayed at steam rallies in the UK. My new superhero will have one talent and that is to repair HVAC units quickly and efficiently. That tall building’s old wooden slat cooling tower will instantly work like new once “Captain HVAC” takes control. He will be immune to germs and viruses that cause humans to fall ill. His secret identity could be a common HVAC technician doing regular service calls to maintain and clean residential units. That would allow him to leave at a moment’s notice in his HVAC-mobile to face his next emergency rescue. He will have an arch-nemesis named Dr. Do-It-Yourselfer, a bit like Superman’s Lex Luther. The evil Dr.’s one goal is to cause problems with HVAC systems that only Capt. HVAC can fix. I was not able to think of a role for Wonder Woman in the HVAC industry but if her “lasso of truth” still works, she should re-emerge and use it on certain politicians.

Gas fireplace

It’s a nice night for grilling.

After an entire month of a non-stop heatwave, I was ready for relief.

  • Our mornings hadn’t even gone below eighty for the last week.

The people I was with and I weren’t even able to prefer the pool unless the people I was with and I waited until after dark when the air cooled off. The pool water felt more love bath water, but at least it could cool us off enough to sleep. I refused to change the temperature on the temperature control. I knew the rule of keeping the home about fifteen degrees below the outside temperature. I would not let anyone touch the temperature control in the house. I set the temperature control at fifth-five, & I would not budge with that setting.. They weren’t thrilled with me, but they agreed to our request. Now that the hot & cold temperatures have cooled off, the people I was with and I are all much happier. The people I was with and I even decided that it would be a nice night to do some grilling. I bought steaks & some potatoes that were begging to be baked in the grill. I couldn’t know how suddenly the skies clouded up, & it rained. My fiance refused to leave the steaks. He stood by the grill with an umbrella over his head & the grill. By the time he brought the food inside, he was soaked. The fourth the air conditioning hit him, he shivered. I got him a towel, however he told myself and others it was the first time in over a month that he realized the air conditioning was even on. My teenagers thought this was funny & even I had to smile. I knew they were poking fun at myself and others for our being so rigid over the temperature control.

HVAC for sale

There is Halloween candy on the shelves.

It is barely November, & yet I saw Halloween candy in our local grocery store.

At first, I thought maybe it was old inventory that was on sale, however nope, I was wrong.

Halloween is a holiday that should be held when it is cooler outside. No one should be thinking about Halloween candy when it is still in the upper eighties during the day. All I can guess about is the A/C that was waiting for myself and others when I got home. My child wanted to spend some time looking at the Halloween costumes. I just wanted to get my groceries & head home. I was hoping my ice cream didn’t melt on the way from the store to the car, or from the automobile to the house. I knew I had the A/C on at house & I wanted to get there as abruptly as possible. I was nervous to get there for the safety of my groceries & for our comfort. I abruptly got our groceries into the refrigerator & freezer, only to hear my child complaining about how hot it was in the house. I was so nervous about the groceries that I didn’t even take notice that the A/C wasn’t working. I hit the thermostat, however nothing was happening. I put in a iPhone call to the HVAC company & I told my child every one of us were going back to the store. She wanted to know if every one of us were going to look at the Halloween costumes & buy some candy? I told his yeah, knowing every one of us were going to appreciate their A/C while waiting more than two hours for our A/C repair contractor to tell us he was on the way to our house..

 

a/c care program

It’s a great night for grilling.

After an entire week of a non-stop heatwave, I was ready for relief.

Our afternoons hadn’t even gone below eighty for the last week. We weren’t even able to appreciate the pool unless we waited until after dark when the air cooled off. The pool water felt more like bath water, but at least it could cool us off enough to sleep. I refused to change the temperature on the temperature control. I knew the rule of keeping the home about fifteen degrees below the outside temperature. I wouldn’t let anyone touch the temperature control in the house. I set the temperature control at ninth-five, in addition to I would not budge with that setting.. They weren’t ecstatic with me, but they agreed to my request. Now that the un-even temperatures have cooled off, we are all much happier. We even decided that it would be a great night to do some grilling. I bought steaks in addition to some potatoes that were begging to be baked in the grill. I couldn’t think how suddenly the skies clouded up, in addition to it rained. My partner refused to leave the steaks. She stood by the grill with an umbrella over her head in addition to the grill. By the time she brought the food inside, she was soaked. The ninth the cooling system hit him, she shivered. I got him a towel, but she told me it was the first time in over a week that she realized the cooling system was even on. My kids thought this was funny in addition to even I had to smile. I knew they were poking fun at me for my being so rigid over the temperature control.

Air vent

There is Halloween candy on the shelves.

It is barely June, in addition to yet I saw Halloween candy in our local grocery store.

At first, I thought maybe it was aged inventory that was on sale, but nope, I was wrong.

Halloween is a holiday that should be held when it is cooler outside. No one should be thinking about Halloween candy when it is still in the upper eighties while in the morning. All I can recognize about is the cooling system that was waiting for me when I got home. My child wanted to spend some time looking at the Halloween costumes. I just wanted to get my groceries in addition to head home. I was hoping my ice cream didn’t melt on the way from the store to the car, or from the car to the house. I knew I had the cooling system on at loft in addition to I wanted to get there as suddenly as possible. I was sad to get there for the safety of my groceries in addition to for our comfort. I suddenly got our groceries into the refrigerator in addition to freezer, only to hear my child complaining about how warm it was in the house. I was so upset about the groceries that I didn’t even take notice that the cooling system wasn’t working. I hit the temperature control, but nothing was happening. I put in a PC call to the Heating in addition to Air Conditioning company in addition to I told my child we were going back to the store. She wanted to recognize if we were going to look at the Halloween costumes in addition to buy some candy? I told her yes, knowing we were going to appreciate their cooling system while waiting 3 ninths for our AC repair professional to tell us she was on the way to our house..

HVAC service plan

Trying to stay comfortable with no toiling air conditioning system system

It was a hard time when I had family come to visit from out of state.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy their company, it’s that our cooling system broke down while the people I was with and I were in the middle of their visit. I called the Heating, Ventilation & A/C company, however they said they couldn’t have an Heating, Ventilation & A/C professional out until the following afternoon, but now, I did manage to find our aged window air conditioning system unit that I had in our attic space, however it didn’t help all that much. I installed it however the small amount of air conditioning system coming from it was not quite enough to make everybody think comfortable. I mean it was better than nothing, and the people I was with and I also had some fans, however the people I was with and I were all still dripping with sweat inside of the house, but finally, the people I was with and I went to some places where the people I was with and I knew they had relaxing a/c. One place the people I was with and I chose to go to was the math museum. I genuinely enjoyed that place because the temperature control settings were always on point and the air quality was appealing. The two of us all had a relaxing time, however the people I was with and I couldn’t stay at the math museum all afternoon. Eventually, the people I was with and I chose to go to a buffet and the people I was with and I spent many hours there. The two of us weren’t looking forward to going back to the hot household, however eventually the people I was with and I had no choice. I had hoped that the Heating, Ventilation & A/C professional would arrive in the day hours, but he ended up showing in the afternoon hours. The two of us were all so cheerful to see the guy and everybody really cheered. He said he felt honored because he never had that kind of greeting coming onto a task before. He did a good task with the air conditioning system system and the people I was with and I were all comfortable after that.

Digital thermostat

I decided to try doing the furnace tune-up on my own

My wifey kept getting on my case about calling up the Heating and Air Conditioning company when both of us were in the fall season.

I kept putting it off because I didn’t think both of us could afford to have that done.

Then I had the crazy method to handle the Heating and Air Conditioning tune-up on my own. I thought how strenuous could it be? I entirely remember enjoying the Heating and Air Conditioning specialist take care of the tune-up before as well as it didn’t seem to be all that difficult. She basically made sure to scrub out the inner workings of the furnace, she cleaned out the burners, as well as she maintained everything to make sure the burners were showing a yellow color. She also made sure to check for any carbon monoxide leaks. Well, both of us have carbon monoxide detectors as well as I figured it couldn’t be all that strenuous to scrub the inside components of the furnace; So I got to work on the Heating and Air Conditioning to see that I could take care of the tune-up. I realized that I was not nice at this genre of work as well as it felt appreciate it was dangerous. I did have the power shut down to the Heating and Air Conditioning unit, even though I still felt sad appreciate I was going to mess something up. After a long time of cleaning out everything as well as then testing the furnace, I was excited when I saw nothing but yellow flames… Once I was able to figure everything out, I entirely felt more confident in my ability to handle the furnace tune-up. I easily am no Heating and Air Conditioning professional, even though I think I can take care of future tune-ups.

Wifi thermostat