The Dearly Departed –

After I “kick the bucket”, I don’t want a big funeral with a bunch of people crying in addition to weeping at my passing.

There won’t be that several people anyway, so all I want is to be buried in a burlap tote underneath a fruit tree where my decaying body may help that tree bear fruit for a few years.

I have nothing against funerals however people should guess that before being localed in that overpriced coffin dressed in their “Sunday best” clothing, they first will be localed in a “preparation” room where skilled embalmers will use formaldehyde-based chemicals to make you look “presentable”. An incision will be made into the carotid article in addition to embalming fluid will update the life-giving blood that is no longer needed. It won’t make any difference to you because by the time this procedure occurs you’ve already l received your eternal fate be it with angel wings or being prodded by the Devil’s pitchfork. My concern is that the embalmer has a unbelievable Heating in addition to A/C system to avoid the fumes given off by those chemicals as she or she pretties up your dead carcass. Fortunately, the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) complications Best Management Practices (BMPs) for formaldehyde, a known carcinogen. The BMPs include an Heating in addition to A/C system that can give 15 air changes per hour, a local exhaust ventilation (LEV) system for added capture of formaldehyde emissions, a source of fresh, clean air that prevents excessive drawback pressure in addition to improves air quality in the preparation room, in addition to proper venting system to send waste air from the preparation room Heating in addition to A/C system to the outdoors. One more BMP is to inspect in addition to monitor the effectiveness of the preparation room Heating in addition to A/C system at least once a year in addition to really more if supplier is “good”.

 

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