The Thing that Couldn’t Be Fixed

Compared to sci-fi movies made today, the old black and white sci-fi movies from the 1950s seem quite comical with their technical errors and amateurish props.

In a scene from “The Attack of the 50 Foot Woman”, the main character “Nancy”, now greatly enlarged from some extraterrestrial entity, is strolling toward the bar where her husband “Harry” is cavorting with another woman.

In a rage, she tears the bar apart with her bare hands, kills the other woman, and then lifts Harry through the roof where he gets his just rewards. The movie never does explain how her scanty clothing grew to fit her but the1950s censorship was probably a factor. Those 50s movies may have lacked quality special effects, but with titles like “The Beast with a Million Eyes”, or “The Brain from Planet Arous”, today’s movie titles seem lame. If I were a 1950s B&W horror movie producer, the plot of my movie would be based on a problem my family had when we recently moved into a house with a neglected central HVAC unit. It made creepy sounds day and night and broke down at least once a month. Time after time I called the HVAC repair team to fix it but to no avail. The furnace would belch soot and we even had to evacuate a few times with gas leaks and small electrical fires. Meanwhile, my wife was getting upset at my unwillingness to replace it. Had she been 50 feet tall, I might have met the same fate as Harry. The title of my movie will be “The Thing that Couldn’t Be Fixed” but It will have a happy ending when the old HVAC unit is hauled off to the junkyard.

 

Heater technician